the end (for a while)
one more week til the end of sophomore year, which has been a whirlwind of thoughts, tears, doubt and introspection (with a couple of of triumphs thrown in there too).
i learned a little bit about others but a lot about myself - what i’m capable of (good and bad), what i want and don’t want, what i should care about and what i would do well to ignore. i know well the thoughts that tend to sink into my head late at night when there’s no one else to keep me company and my instinct, sometimes, to think the worst of everyone including myself. i’ve been foolish, brash, and naive and i can’t say that i’ve never be those things again.
but i’ve also understood some things. not to take life and myself so seriously; to always think well of others unless proven otherwise; to strive only for personal growth; and that i really shouldn’t give a damn what other people think. i’ve felt faith and the vulnerability that one is supposed to feel in the eyes of god (it’s so bizarre to write that, having never felt even remotely religious before this year).
it’s been a painful year, but it hasn’t been a fruitless one. i think i’ve made some necessary mistakes worth learning from, and now i can pick myself up, brush myself off, and carry on.
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